When I was a child, I was taught that religions are very different from each other; shameless comparisons were made and repeated over the years claiming that all other religions are just the opposite of everything my religion is. If mine is merciful, then other religions are sadistic. If mine respects women, then other religions enslave and humiliate them. Never understood attempts on superiority by comparison, spreading hatred and brainwashing the young and ignorant.

Gratefulness to Allah –swt- should not stem from a claim that other religions He created are not as good as your religion. Sometimes, it seemed like a contest on what religion is just worse. For example, in a lesson about inheritance in Islam, not only we were taught how much does every family member inherit but also how in other religions only the first son inherits everything. It was like saying: so you think it’s unfair that you get half what your male counterpart gets? Look at other religions and thank God for it!

Now, I wouldn’t say that it was done exactly in this way, even though the comparison was there in the text books, but I can assure you that we would’ve been better off sticking to our own religion. I always wondered if I was supposed to feel all better and smile like an idiot when I learn that other people have it worse, even if that was correct. How is that going to help me understand my religion and find the wisdom behind every rule or teaching? How does that fix whatever I thought was wrong or made no sense to me? How are things going to change for the best when our ambitions stop at being better than other religions? How is that convincing, how is that respectful to the minds God gave us and ordered us to respect and use all the time?

If I could talk to my younger self, I’d tell her not to burden her heart with that kind of sadness; the sadness from feeling lonely and different as a Muslim. Feeling that I belong to the largest minority on earth, is how I felt; we are all minorities here and it doesn’t matter how big is the group you belong to, the circle still closes somewhere. I’d want her to take everything with even a bigger grain of salt and to know that she doesn’t have to belong to that group or any group for that matter, the world is all hers to give, take and explore in silence if she choses to. To embrace her individuality and not to feel guilty about not giving a crap about other people’s dependent-grouping obsession and tendency to be self-righteous and as a result, secretly or publicly envision all the “other” people going to hell, metaphorically and/or literally.

Religions are tools for creating lifestyles, not isolated sub-communities. I see acceptance as the key to minority complex, religion-phobia and the way to progress as a society and people. Tolerance alone is not enough; it’s actual acceptance that softens the hearts and frees the minds. Once you accept someone, whether he/she has a different belief system, different social status, family life, education, different kind of mistakes, a different learning path or different type of friends and acquaintances; you discover that you have more in common with them than you thought and you grow to love the newness and even the contrast they bring into your world.

I think it’s about time we free ourselves from those shackles we’ve been wearing since forever. There’s so much we can do together, and for each other.