Hello, my name is Shaden and I’m a consumer. I eat pizza when I’m kinda depressed, and when I eat it, it only makes me feel worse. It makes me feel fat. I wear black when I fall under the weather, because I’m under the impression that it will make me invisible; and therefore I won’t have to deal with people. I don’t eat when I’m happy. And I lose weight when I’m exceptionally happy. If I’m bored for a long time, it irritates me, case in point when I’m not working. That, makes me want to eat, just eat. I’ll even cook (something I rarely do). I’m not seduced by chocolate and sweets. My favorite consumer product is Panadol Night.

When I have kids, I don’t mind them acting like perfectly normal kids ie silly or hyperactive. I don’t need some God damn cheese that will allegedly make my kids grow up quickly. That commercial gets on my nerves. A cheese that will help you skip the most important stage of your kids life: childhood. It will help mothers avoid the headache kids can cause by feeding them cheese until they’re teens and no longer embarrassing.